Wednesday, February 22, 2012

From Cricket to Cokkery Role Model.



India is having a tuff time downunder. They have experienced a lot of chin music from Aussie bowlers and were belittled by Aussie batsmen. Suffering two continuous loss in the tournament, India's chance of entering the final is looking bleak as days pass by. If a team is emerging victorious, the success in posted upon all team members unlike a lose where skipper has to take up all the blame and has to remain under the hammer. Looking back, from the first match of CB series, we can analyse a player's contribution in the ODI series.

Virender Sehwag:

Thanks for yor presence. We were happy to see you playing. Virender Sehwag was seriously considered upon as an role model for cookery class. Instructions given to their students in the cookery class for making noodles.
  1. If Sehwag enters in the ground to open the innings, open your Maggi noodles pack and put it in the fry pan.
  2. Add Masala, water and essential vegetables and stir it.
  3. Turn off the stove and remove the pan, when Sehwag loses his wicket. Your Maggi noodles is ready
Sachin Tendulkar:
 
We don't need a century from him. We need a good start. A 40s and 50s could do wonders. But Sachin has been a shadow of himself in this one day series.

Gautham Gambhir:  Unlike R.Ashwin, ever since Gambhir was married, his form dripped. However, consecutive ninetees in tournament have made him a leading run scorer for India. Oldsaying goes that those who have strong reflexes should field at short legs in Tests. I knew a few cases in world cricket, where a batsman can dominate one form a cricket but will be adolescent in the other form. Despite being critizied for being a poor fielder in One day cricket, Gambhir fields at shortlegs. Is fielding too have multiple dimensions?

Virat Kohli:
 
Finally in this tour, Kohli has learnt to use the middle of the bat rather than using the middle finger. This Consistent and aggresive batsman holds the record of speaking the F**K word more number of times than used in the De Caprio's DEPARTED movie. Ofcourse, he has talent enough to bowl a last over of the one day innings.

 Rohit Sharma: He showed his good form in last CB series. He is showing his poor form in this CB series. His is second to Sehwag in consideration for cookery class role models.

Suresh Raina:
 
@bcciindia tweets to @ImRealBrahma, " Sir my needs are -Some cameos; Some good fielding; Some ridiculous fielding; Talent, enough to clear the boundary; Should be the first person to congratulate the bowler, if takes a wicket. "

 @ImRealBrahma to @bcciindia "Huh, You are so lucky. I have a package that fulfills your needs. Here it is, take @ImRaina "

 @ImRaina retweets @ImRealBrahma's tweet.

Mahendra Singh Dhoni:  Taking the pressure to the opponents is Richards' way of winning a match. Taking the pressure to himself and the nail biting audience is Dhoni's way of winning a match.

Manoj Tiwary: What Ganguly, Sachin and Dravid did for Badrinath is done Kohli, Raina and Rohit to Tiwary. - Block a place.

 Parthiv Patel:
 
All he needs is a paid trip by BCCI to have a dinner at Hayden's and injury/ban to Dhoni for a place in playing XI. If he gets, he has fullfilled his lifequench.

Ravindra Jadeja:
Played an innings of his life time in the t20s and second ODI, to get a $2 million contract for Chennai Super Kings, which means the next time he tours to Australia, he can have dinner at Hussey's.

Ravichandran Ashwin:
It was roller coaster ride for him in this tour. He didn't bowl to his calibre but brilliantly gave warnings to Lahiru Thirimanne and ran him out to give Sehwag a chance to show his "Dhoni-Bell" spirit of cricket attitude.

Praveen Kumar:
 He is in search of an Aussie girl friend. Please help him. He is missing a chance in playing XI because of that.

 Zaheer Khan: Completely, he is in the shadow-of-himself phase. May be its time to marry his girl friend and have a honey moon to regain his lost form.

Vinay Kumar:

Afridi bowls faster than Vinay kumar and Mike Hussey swings the ball to better extent the Vinay does. Needless to say anything else about him.

 Umesh Yadav:
 
India also has pace factory. India is also capable of producing world class pace bowlers who can consistenly bowling in the later 140 kmph. Former players see Yadav as a bowler who despite leaking runs take important wickets. Sorry, we already have one S.Sreesanth, we don't need another one.

Rahul Sharma:
 
A kumble in the making. The difference is this guy is disguising a straighter delivery amidst turning ones while Kumble does the vice versa.

Irfan Pathan:
4 five-wicket haul in 5 matches of recently concluded Ranji season bought him national contract which he is effectively using, be it batting or bowling. One thing he has to remember he is the team primarily for his bowling skills not for his batting skills. History repeats itself. If Irfan gets a contract, Yusuf loses his contract and if Yusuf gets a contract, Irfan loses his. BCCI is keen enough, not to give twice the amount of money to the pathan family

 P.S : This post has no intentions to harm any Indian Cricket fans. Written just for fun.

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